Teentakes

To me, Eshal Khan is not just a poet, she’s also my best friend. I’ve known her for 5 years at this point and sitting down with her for this interview has to be the most excited yet composed I have seen her. Her ability to both write and speak extraordinarily beautifully has to be one of her talents I admire the most about her which she showcased beautifully during our conversation. We talked about her books, her anthology, and her past and future with poetry and an exciting surprise she had for me.

My first question to her was how and why she got into poetry particularly? Why not fiction, novels and prose, why poetry in particular? And when she answered, there was a spark in her eyes as she told me about how she had grown up in a very linguistic household, she had journals upon journals of her fathers writings and adding to that the poetic background of her mother, writing and poetry came very naturally to Eshal. But poetry was the most honest form for her. It was the place where she could express her emotions, give them structure, and somehow they made sense. And it just touched her heart in a way that no other art form could possibly do. Knowing Eshal and her devotion to structure, neatness and methodical meticulousness, this answer was not surprising to me.

We went on to discuss the recurring themes of trauma, loss and being misunderstood that echoed in almost all of her poems. I had to ask, why those exact themes, and her answer to that was an very eloquent reflection of the society she saw.
” You know, I used to, as a troubled teenager when you’re growing up, you’re trying to look for people that have the same experience as you. You’re trying to look for things to relate to. And of course it’s fun reading all those fiction books and every little thing you do. There was so much that there wasn’t talked much about and that really took a stab at my soul. I’m a really extroverted person and the more I talk to people and the more I realize that there are reoccurring themes of grief and loss and trauma and all of this. And the fact that it isn’t talked about much is not fair. We talk about all these other aspects of life and why not grief and trauma. This is stuff that really strips your soul bare. Stuff that empties you in a way that no one sees that hollows out your soul eats you up inside why aren’t we talking about that so that was my main reason to start with those themes to talk about things that people are afraid to talk about and give them a platform where they feel a little bit more seen”
(This answer was so beautiful I did not have the heart to paraphrase and edit it)

Talking about her experience co-authoring an anthology, “Under the same Sky”. She told me about how when she first got the offer, she was surrounded by doubt but she persevered through them and that she wanted her perseverance to be a theme that reflected in her poetry. That anthology was to her is one of the most precious moments and looking back she has no regrets about it at all.

I had to ask her what her parents’ reaction to her anthology was and it could not have been more heartwarming, from her mother’s hugs to her father showing it off to all her friends, at the end of the day, it was her parents who were the reason she was afraid to show her emotions through her writing. and while her she was definitely inspired by her parents, who did Eshal hope to inspire?

Turns out she hopes to inspire people who want to write and display poetry but are too afraid to be… well seen, you know, because it’s a “very very wonderful” side of your life to show and it’s very easy to think, “No one thinks like that except me. No one feels like that except me. This is just a me problem.” It’s very easy. So she hopes people feel seen and loved and heard through her poetry and that gives them the courage to write about their experiences and understand how interconnected humans are through the spheres of their individual existence.

Another gem from this interview was when she described how people tried to decode her through her peoms, especially when writing about loss and love and grief, people did not hesitate to ask her what ‘lore’ she had and who it was about? She said she found it absolutely hilarious and amusing and it reminded her of when she and I sit and try to decode Taylore Swift songs, “Is Peter about about Joe or about Matty?” kind of thing.

She also told me how she connected to other writers through her ‘secret’ (not for me) tumblr account. She had always been very protective over her work and always thought that no one who didn’t know her would really care if she put it all out but surprisingly for her people reached out and shared their own pieces. It gave her the courage she needed to keep writing and keep sharing and she hopes to create and instagram page in the future where she’ll be sharing ever more of her poems.

Lastly I asked her about her future plans when it came to writing and publishing and then came the surprise “another book was coming” it was an anthology but in the near future she hopes to author her own book. This announcement took me back to when she sent me the first voice note of how she had first received the offer to co author ‘under the same sky’, it was almost as though her entire journey up to this point flitted in front of my eyes, and in that moment I felt less like a best friend and more like a proud parent. We had really went from jumping up and down on video calls about her book to me interviewing her about the same one. And it this moment right now I can not be happier for her.

Sitting with Eshal and listening to her journey, I realized that poetry isn’t just words on a page, it’s a bridge between souls and the collision of individual existences. And through her poems, she’s inviting everyone who reads them to cross that bridge and collide with her own wonderful world.

“I’d cover my ears from the silence we’ve grown
Refuse to hear the cracks in the love we’ve known
Each word unspoken a tear I’ll deny
If our love is dying, I’ll never ask why”
                                        - Eshal Khan